Aha! A Conflict!
Let’s embrace this
opportunity to get to know each other……………………..
Jalaluddin Rumi (rahmatullah alaihe) in
his famous Mathnavi tells of a man who
took a lighted lamp during the day and proceeded to the marketplace.
Someone
asked him, “What is wrong with you? What need is there for a lamp during the
light of day?”
He
replied, “I am searching for man everywhere. I do not see even one man.”
The
person said: “But this market is filled with men.”
The
man replied, “No, there are no men in this market, only the outer forms of men.
These are only bread-eaters and persons involved in their own desires. All the
persons you see in this market are all carriers of attributes contrary to true
manhood”
IMAGINE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All
of us are products of Hazrat Adam (alaihis salaam), the first man, who was
created out of a mixture of all the different types of soil on the earth. Ask
any farmer and he would tell you of the differences that can exist in the soil
in terms of texture, colour, vegetation, yields and so on. As such, each of us would not only have faults
and shortcomings but each of us is also different in some way or another.
In spite of the fact that we are different,
every single one amongst us looks for perfection in our dealings with each other.
We totally forget that we are not masoom (sinless) angels made of light but we
are the progeny of Hazrat Adam (alaihis salaam). It is therefore only natural
that conflict would occur. The challenge however is not the fact that there are
problems and conflicts but the most important point is how we as individuals
and Muslims deal with these problems and conflicts with others around us.
Unfortunately most of us do not realize
that conflicts provide an opportunity for us to develop greater interaction
amongst ourselves. Many of us become angry to the extent that we sometimes
attack the other person’s character. Or worse yet, we begin to hate that person
and forget the actual problem.
But, perhaps we should stop for a minute
and consider what Allah Azza Wa Jal says in the Holy Qur’an,
‘We
have indeed created man in the best of moulds,
Then do we abase him (to be) the lowest
of the low’ (95: 4-5)
Do
we really wish to become the “lowest of the low?” Rather than that, we could
explore alternatives such as:-
- § Being
hard on the problem but soft on the person and their character
- § Focusing
on what needs to be done and not our positions on the issues
- § Emphasizing
common ground between persons
- § Being
inventive/innovative about options that
could be considered
- § Making
clear agreements about solutions preferably with available witnesses
And we should also consider that:
‘It is not permissible for a man to forsake his
Muslim brother for more than three days, each of them turning away from the
other when they meet. The better of them is the one who gives the greeting of
salaam first.”(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5727; Muslim, 2560).
And also:
‘On
the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that
the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
"Allah will say on the Day of Resurrection: 'Where are those who love one
another through My glory? Today I shall give them shade in My shade, it being a
day when there is no shade but My shade.'" [Bukhari (also by Malik).]’
In the final analysis,
the key to our stay here on this earth is to please that Allah Aza Wa Jal who
has given us life for a time and will call us back to account for our deeds.
So
a person who is fit to be called a ‘man’ created in the ‘best of moulds’ according
to the story from the Mathnavi is one
who becomes adorned with deeds and character which lead to the pleasure of
Allah Ta’ala. That Allah Ta’ala who wishes us to love one another for His
glory, not our gratification.
So the next time there is a conflict…………………
Embrace the opportunity to learn about one another;
Forget petty differences! Because we are all different…………………..
Why do we do this!
Because, just perhaps, by making allowances for Allah’s creation, He may
just forgive us for all our misdeeds and have mercy on us when we stand before
Him with our arms outstretched on that great day to answer for our deeds here in
this dunya.